The Seven Stages of the Bench

Posted: January 18, 2012 by Roberts in Injuries
Tags: , ,

During the last six weeks, much has happened, and yet very little has happened. To bring you up to date, I have not run since my sprain. Today marks the fifth day in a row that I have been brace free. At the end of each day, the ankle is a just a little sore from walking. Since I have been unable to run, I feel myself slowly going mad. Since I have no reference point, I can only compare it to what I believe withdrawal would feel like. My days are riddled with sweating, runny nose, muscle aches, anxiety, insomnia, nausea, vomiting, cramping, goosebumps, and shivers. Ok, not so much…just in my own overly dramatic mind.

These past couple weeks I have noticed how addicted I am to running. That’s the first step to recovery, isn’t it? But I don’t want to recover from this addiction. I want to fall off the wagon and get back into it. When I will this ankle work again?

Not I am not an athlete by any stretch of the imagination; merely an enthusiast. The days are getting colder and I find myself thinking with each passing day how great my pace would be with the dropping temperature. It is aggravating, to say the least. After thinking about it, I am going through the seven stages of grief for my ankle.

Stage One – Denial: I actually asked the doctor two days after the spring, “I have a 5k this weekend, think I will be able to run it?”

Stage Two – Guilt: Many times I was caught saying, “I should have known better and paid more attention.”

Stage Three – Anger: Watching other runners over the following weeks got me jealous and irritated. A friend has started running, losing weight, and generally improving his health. I hate him for it, since I can’t!

Stage Four – Depression: I tried to add alternative exercise routines. It wasn’t the same. I felt like I was cheating on running. I became unmotivated and gained weight from overeating and not exercising.

Stage Five – The Upward Trend: I threw myself into work (thus the lack of posts). I put in longer hours and tried to find other ways to spend my energies.

Stage Six – Reconstruction: If I can’t run again, maybe I can take up cycling. It gets me outside, and it won’t stress the ankle if it never gets back to normal.

Stage Seven – Acceptance: NEVER!!!!!

My plan is to put in a run this Saturday if the ankle can handle it. The risk is great, the reward is immeasurable. How I have missed the outdoors and the pavement. My watch keeps asking me when we are going to run again. Very soon, watch…..very soon.

Keep on running.

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